WHAT THE F.A.Q.!?
I have a small but dedicated team of humans, elves, and reanimated corpses to make sure your shopping experience is not the skin-ripping tortuous experience it sometimes can be when shopping online. Please read over this list of frequently asked questions, and if your question is not answered here, please feel free to do so by emailing us at alexpardeemerch@gmail.com and we will do our best to reply to you within one business day. Thank you incredibly for your support!
Q: Do you ship internationally?
A: The only thing scarier than the monsters in my head is the absolute hellscape that is the current international shipping situation. Unfortunately, due to tariffs and other nonsense, we are unable to offer international shipping at this time. We'll keep monitoring the situation, and restore access to our non-domestic friends as soon as possible.
Q: When will my order be delivered?
A: We have a standard shipping policy that applies to all in-stock items. Once your order is placed, we will ship it out within 3-5 business days. Once we ship it out, you will receive a tracking number via email and orders within the U.S. will usually be delivered within 2-5 days from shipping.
PRE-ORDER items will ship as soon as my sipping goblins receive those items from the various craftsmen and ghouls that help me make my products. See the individual item listing for more details.
Q: Do you offer rush shipping?
A: At this time, NO, we do not offer rush shipping, or rush handling.
Q: Will you sign something if I buy it?
A: I'm happy to sign most anything, but unfortunately my shipping team and I are not very close to each other. If you would like something signed, or personalized, like a book, or a shirt or a toy, feel free to include that note in the “notes” section at checkout and the goblins will do their best to make that happen. Please note that any requests for signatures may delay the shipping process, however, and I cannot guarantee that I will be able to fill every request.
Q: Speaking of signing, can I send you something and have you sign it and then send it back to me?
A: Unfortunately, no, I cannot offer that service right now.
Q: What kind of shirts do you use for printing?
A: Whenever possible, we use American Apparel Unisex t-shirts for our t-shirts. If another brand/style is used, we will note that in the description.
Q: My shirt faded when I washed it? Why?
A: This is an anomaly but it can happen. We use the highest quality inks and processes when producing our apparel, but due to the nature of screen-printing inks, occasionally an item can fade with multiple washes. The best way to avoid this is to wash your shirt INSIDE OUT on cold, and either hang-dry it, or use a low-heat setting in your dryer. If you think your shirt is defective, please contact us at alexpardeemerch@gmail.com so we can help get you a replacement.
Q: How do you print your shirts?
A: There are 3 distinct methods we use to print our shirts, depending on the design and the desired effect I want for the garment. Here are the different methods:
1. PLASTISOL INK SCREEN-PRINTING. This is the most common way of printing apparel, using plastisol inks, which are a little thicker (so you can feel them a little more), but they are more vibrant and last longer.
2. DISCHARGE INK SCREEN-PRINTING. This method uses DISCHARGE inks, which actually replace the dye in the garment with another dye. The result of this gives you a very soft feel to the finished garment, but some of the colors won’t be quite as bright as with plastisol printing.
3. DIRECT-TO-GARMENT Printing. This is a newer method of printing, where we can use a full gamut of colors to print directly on the garment itself, like a way fancier and robotic ink-jet printer. The result is a very soft and vibrant feel to the shirt, but sometimes the colors may eventually fade if not cared for correctly (wash on cold, hang dry).
The method of printing is usually noted in the item description.
Q: What is a “giclee” print?
A: A giclee print is a high-end digital print. Our giclees are printed with an EPSON SureColor P6000 printer using archival inks on Velvet Cotton Rag paper.
Q: I wanted to order something but you sold out. Will you have more of that?
A: It's not 100% that anything will be restocked due to the limited nature of some items. However, usually, enamel pins, books, and t-shirts will eventually be restocked unless they are stated as limited editions.
Q: I have an apparel company. Do you do collaborations with other brands and artists?
A: Although I have done many collaborations in the past, I am currently not available for any collaborations or commissions.
Q: Can I work for you?
A: I currently do all of the design work, website work, and marketing myself, and have a small team that helps me with fulfillment, production, and customer service. However, if there is something that you specialize in (web-development, graphic design, social media marketing, etc) and you think you may be a good fit for my brand, please feel free to email alexpardeemerch@gmail.com with your resume and a brief description of what you can help with. I cannot guarantee a reply to every resume sent, but I will review all of them. Thank you!
Q: Will you draw me a tattoo?
A: You are welcome to get any of my existing images tattooed, and that would be amazing. No need to get permission. However, I am currently not accepting commissions for drawing any custom tattoo designs.
Q: What’s the capital of North Dakota?
A: Bismarck, you coward!